Re-Post of one of my first: Light

just today i had the opportunity to serve a family of three...a father...a mother...and an adolescent daughter...with autism...and not just autism...cerebral palsy...you know...just for added measure...

i never would have guessed autism, until i looked down at the father's wrist and noticed his blue autism awareness bracelet...of course...immediately...there was much to talk about.

mostly i listened...briefly...i had the opportunity to look into the mother's eyes as she was tending to their daughter...in her eyes...i saw...nothing........emptiness.......

maybe it was her dark day...but maybe...as i listened to the father...maybe it was more than that...maybe she was so exhausted, so consumed, so needed for so many years with no relief in sight...maybe she really was empty...

my heart is aching...i am angry for her...at what point does a mother look up to heaven and scream: GIVE ME MY CHILD...THE CHILD I HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF...THE CHILD I HAVE PRAYED FOR...GIVE ME MY CHILD...PLEASE...!!!???

i looked into her child's eyes twice...she looked back at me both times...her eyes were not empty...they were overflowing with so much expression...i still see those eyes...a burning contrast to her mothers...

sigh...it's so easy to become consumed...i pray for that mother to have the light turned back on in her eyes...that she would be able to see the life in her own daughter's eyes and gain a sense of peace and strength from the very one she is pouring her light into...

may more people reach out to the daughter...stop being afraid of discomfort in the differences...start seeing the light in the eyes of the voiceless...

God...forgive me...i am angry...angry for this family...angry for every family that recovery may not be a possibility...almost willing to sacrifice the obvious recoverability of my son for those less hopeful...i simply cannot imagine a future with no hope...how bleak...how desperate...no wonder there was no light in that mother's eyes...

if this exchange of glances leads to nothing more than the burning flames of my hope to ignite a small spark of hope in that mother's life...through prayer alone...may this moment not go unnoticed...unanswered...unlit