i have been so busy...i am running...consistently...just not blogging...consistently.
i love running in the heat...the amount of sweat that pours off my body is liberating! i am tempted to be a real feminist and demand the right to run without a shirt...but after nursing two babies...i will sit on that a bit longer...don't wanna be slapped in the face with my own body parts while running!
this post is more something that's worked itself out in between church and runs...
well...i still cannot find the words...they come during worship...which happens during church and runs...HA...and they leave my mind when i finally have the opportunity to pour them into cyberspace...
it's mostly about love, tragedy, fear, hope, and deliverance.
don't ask me how...but through running...i have finally learned how to make love, conquer fears, overcome tragedy, hope to hope, and have found eternal deliverance...my runs...are more than lacing up my sneakers...God uses the time of running to untie the very tightest of knots hidden deep in my heart. i am so thankful for His Grace...and Love...and creation of movement...that what He puts in motion...no man can stop!
My Quivers
Monday, June 29, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
can i have some celery, PLEASE??
that's what my SON said this morning!!?? he loves celery!! the changes in this house this summer have been incredible!
miraculous...blessed.
we eat 3 meals at the table (i think that in and of itself is a huge reason he-we all is-are doing better).
i am cooking all kinds of things for the whole family, and we have established that he must take 6 bites of whatever i present each meal in order to earn his BIG TOY at the end of the summer.
there is no battle. the rules are clear. it's his choice to earn a happy face or not. the happy faces add up!! (NOTE: those with kiddos who have serious sensory issues...this has been a solid year of desensitizing!! this is NOT a first step!! the first step is to remove all pressure!)
mermaid has been HAPPY in the mornings!!
oh, did i mention that i have slept through the night for over a week...OVER A WEEK...for the first time in six years!!?? God is slapping me with good stuff...and i am loving it!
my mini-boot-camp-home-school started this week. i am watching 2 kiddos (exact age and gender of my kiddos!!) for a friend who just got a job. it's working out nicely, and it will be good to make some side money!! but it is keeping me very busy!! will try to post some summer pics tomorrow!
OH...and i have had great success with my menu for the week...i will try to post that, also!
miraculous...blessed.
we eat 3 meals at the table (i think that in and of itself is a huge reason he-we all is-are doing better).
i am cooking all kinds of things for the whole family, and we have established that he must take 6 bites of whatever i present each meal in order to earn his BIG TOY at the end of the summer.
there is no battle. the rules are clear. it's his choice to earn a happy face or not. the happy faces add up!! (NOTE: those with kiddos who have serious sensory issues...this has been a solid year of desensitizing!! this is NOT a first step!! the first step is to remove all pressure!)
mermaid has been HAPPY in the mornings!!
oh, did i mention that i have slept through the night for over a week...OVER A WEEK...for the first time in six years!!?? God is slapping me with good stuff...and i am loving it!
my mini-boot-camp-home-school started this week. i am watching 2 kiddos (exact age and gender of my kiddos!!) for a friend who just got a job. it's working out nicely, and it will be good to make some side money!! but it is keeping me very busy!! will try to post some summer pics tomorrow!
OH...and i have had great success with my menu for the week...i will try to post that, also!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
the amazing adventures of dietgirl
my friend loaned the book: the amazing adventures of dietgirl to me.
it was a great read...i recommend it to ANYONE who has ever struggled with their body image/weight. it's fantastic insight to the thoughts we torture ourselves with...we who hate our bodies.
i have decided that tonight...i am laying to rest my horrible thoughts of my body...i have yet to purchase a swimming suit and take my darling kiddos to the pool...beyond my backyard kiddie pool. it doesn't help that i have been running for almost a year...and am still at the same weight i started???? but it's not about the number on the scale...haven't i blogged this before? what's my problem?
my problem is lack of self-discipline and consistency. i am an extremest. i am extremely devoted or extremely back-slidden. this personality flaw seeps into every area of my life. for once, i am living a balanced life. my house is mostly clean, my dinners have been primarily healthy and home cooked, my Bible has actually been read, we have had family devotionals almost everyday for over a week, our budget is actually...mostly on paper!!, OA and i are clicking, i am trusting that he loves me...that i am love-able...and even bigger...i am trusting that i love him! it's downright scary...balance.
but my family is flourishing...obtaining balance is far more rewarding than my magical number on the scale (which...i must brag...i almost never weigh anymore!!)...stupid scales...tonight...i am forcing myself to admit: i love how strong i feel when i run. i love the way the salty sweat stings my eyes causing me to have to do a weird-finger-flick-eye-squint movement during my run. i owe it to my body to cherish its ability to carry me onward...instead of constantly cursing its imperfections...do i want to lose my upper-bum? yes...but in due time darlings...in due time...right now...i'd just like to celebrate that i have considerably less bum cheeks than 2 years ago!! along with the opportunity of savoring every single minute of each and every moment!
it was a great read...i recommend it to ANYONE who has ever struggled with their body image/weight. it's fantastic insight to the thoughts we torture ourselves with...we who hate our bodies.
i have decided that tonight...i am laying to rest my horrible thoughts of my body...i have yet to purchase a swimming suit and take my darling kiddos to the pool...beyond my backyard kiddie pool. it doesn't help that i have been running for almost a year...and am still at the same weight i started???? but it's not about the number on the scale...haven't i blogged this before? what's my problem?
my problem is lack of self-discipline and consistency. i am an extremest. i am extremely devoted or extremely back-slidden. this personality flaw seeps into every area of my life. for once, i am living a balanced life. my house is mostly clean, my dinners have been primarily healthy and home cooked, my Bible has actually been read, we have had family devotionals almost everyday for over a week, our budget is actually...mostly on paper!!, OA and i are clicking, i am trusting that he loves me...that i am love-able...and even bigger...i am trusting that i love him! it's downright scary...balance.
but my family is flourishing...obtaining balance is far more rewarding than my magical number on the scale (which...i must brag...i almost never weigh anymore!!)...stupid scales...tonight...i am forcing myself to admit: i love how strong i feel when i run. i love the way the salty sweat stings my eyes causing me to have to do a weird-finger-flick-eye-squint movement during my run. i owe it to my body to cherish its ability to carry me onward...instead of constantly cursing its imperfections...do i want to lose my upper-bum? yes...but in due time darlings...in due time...right now...i'd just like to celebrate that i have considerably less bum cheeks than 2 years ago!! along with the opportunity of savoring every single minute of each and every moment!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
scones, blueberries, watermelon...OH MY!
this morning i made chocolate chip scones via bob's red mill's sorghum flour package. the recipe called for currants, but i subbed choc chips. they were pretty good. i am excited to tweak it with some more fillers.
j-bob and mermaid both turned their noses up at first...stinkers...but i got creative...did some silly voice and gave the food personality...yep...we played with our food...but when it was all said and done...mermaid had almost cleared her entire plate, and j-bob had eaten over half his scone, one blueberry (only gagged once), and two bites of watermelon!!
that ladies and gentlemen, is a miracle (and yes...God can send you hard work in the form of biomedical and special diets...as His miracle). had you told me one year ago...much less a year and a half ago when i had to answer what j-bob ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and the answer to all three meals was: pancakes with zucchini and chicken puree...(yuck)...that my baby boy would be eating scones, blueberries, watermelon, carrot sticks, etc...i would have burst into tears at the very idea.
i still marvel at how far we have come as a family...balance...it is such a nice feeling...talk about a miracle!
j-bob and mermaid both turned their noses up at first...stinkers...but i got creative...did some silly voice and gave the food personality...yep...we played with our food...but when it was all said and done...mermaid had almost cleared her entire plate, and j-bob had eaten over half his scone, one blueberry (only gagged once), and two bites of watermelon!!
that ladies and gentlemen, is a miracle (and yes...God can send you hard work in the form of biomedical and special diets...as His miracle). had you told me one year ago...much less a year and a half ago when i had to answer what j-bob ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and the answer to all three meals was: pancakes with zucchini and chicken puree...(yuck)...that my baby boy would be eating scones, blueberries, watermelon, carrot sticks, etc...i would have burst into tears at the very idea.
i still marvel at how far we have come as a family...balance...it is such a nice feeling...talk about a miracle!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Foster parenting
Isn't it a bit selfish to have a family with so much love and not to share it?
Sigh...I cannot sleep. I have so many things blazing trails through my mind; I even picked up my knitting needles again, 1/4 of a scarf and 5 mg of melatonin later, and here I am at 12:30 am typing away.
Maybe my mind will slow down if i get some words out?
Sigh...so I have warned OA since we were newly weds that I would someday be a foster parent. I think he thought I was joking. I am going to attend a class...sadly it's not until July. Doesn't God know that I like to get things done once my mind is made up (haha...no really)? We most likely won't foster parent anytime soon, but I would love to be a respite care person or an emergency call family...if God and OA are willing...sigh.
Do I put too much on my plate? It's the first week of finding a life of balance, and here I am begging to home school full time and become a foster parent...OR...is my heart finally sitting still before our Lord...and hearing His Love...I want to whisper that Love everywhere I go.
I am hoping to figure out a way to record the kiddos' prayers. They are PRECIOUS. I think they are really getting it...better than most of us adults. J-bob asks God to hold his hand and ends every prayer with: and I love mommy, daddy, merwci, and God, and Jesus, and evewrybody in the whole entiwre wuwrld.
He is very non-discriminatory with his love. I must remember to blog about our conversation of loving everyone...even bad guys...sigh...hold tight these moments...they are so precious!
Sigh...I cannot sleep. I have so many things blazing trails through my mind; I even picked up my knitting needles again, 1/4 of a scarf and 5 mg of melatonin later, and here I am at 12:30 am typing away.
Maybe my mind will slow down if i get some words out?
Sigh...so I have warned OA since we were newly weds that I would someday be a foster parent. I think he thought I was joking. I am going to attend a class...sadly it's not until July. Doesn't God know that I like to get things done once my mind is made up (haha...no really)? We most likely won't foster parent anytime soon, but I would love to be a respite care person or an emergency call family...if God and OA are willing...sigh.
Do I put too much on my plate? It's the first week of finding a life of balance, and here I am begging to home school full time and become a foster parent...OR...is my heart finally sitting still before our Lord...and hearing His Love...I want to whisper that Love everywhere I go.
I am hoping to figure out a way to record the kiddos' prayers. They are PRECIOUS. I think they are really getting it...better than most of us adults. J-bob asks God to hold his hand and ends every prayer with: and I love mommy, daddy, merwci, and God, and Jesus, and evewrybody in the whole entiwre wuwrld.
He is very non-discriminatory with his love. I must remember to blog about our conversation of loving everyone...even bad guys...sigh...hold tight these moments...they are so precious!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
day 8...magical day
oh where do i begin?? the other night i decided: enough...
so i picked up a women of faith study guide that has been collecting dust for 3 years now...living a life of balance...something i crave...tired of simply craving and ready to put into action...didn't you guys know...june is the new january as far as resolutions...at least in this house.
food:
- the best smoothie: half hemp/half vanilla rice/frozen banana/few frozen peach slices/splash of agave nectar/dab of cinnamon. it was DELICIOUS...even the OA ate some!!
- leftover chicken enchilladas...again...GFgoddess never fails me! some fruit and carrot sticks.
- dinner consisted of grilled chicken, corn on the cob, and homemade french fries (sweet and regular)
- onto another smoothie for my snack...i am sure there are SEVERAL handfuls of stripey chips shoved here and there...but you know...a girls gotta live...and those chips...well...they are this home's comfort food!
- i ran a run tonight that kicked my bum so hard...i had to muster all the fight within myself and kick it's bum right back...it ended in a draw...sadly...it took me 49 mins to run/walk 4 miles but i realized as i had visions of how i could safely maneuver my body into a position that would allow me to drink my own bum sweat...(i was THAT thirsty!!)...that i had seriously not hydrated myself and then proceeded to run a hilly route in some serious heat...ahh...it was terribly wonderful!
- as mentioned...i have started a study guide...i hope it is as good as i know it will be...already putting my heart in the right place...in His Word.
- we started our first "home school" day today...it began with a family devotional...the best part was listening to the kiddos and seeing how that one family devotional can play itself out throughout the day...constantly turning our minds/hearts to God in little ways...i loved it...
- as earlier stated we started our first home school day today. it went so well. mermaid actually read a book to me...i have a feeling she will be reading by the end of this summer. j-bob's reading seems to have lost some "umph" since the last 3 weeks of school were pretty much a joke...no fault of the teacher...just a million things squeezed into the last month of school...anyhow...i am focusing on that...the kiddos did more than i expected...and the best part is that it was all pretty laid back/satisfying!
- we ended the evening with reading poems from my favorite children's author: shel silverstein. oh the memories...and they wouldn't let me stop...dear God...please give my children a love for words...and stories...and books...and dare i ask...poetry...sigh
Monday, June 8, 2009
day 5, 6, 7...oh who really cares!!??
so sick granola = derailed granola...
well...i can say the run with my sole sistah AND my british love...was divine! i begged for them to walk in the beginning and then i guess the tylenol kicked in, and i ended up sprinting...boom boom pow by black eyed peas always gets me going!!
i'm not in the mood for fat reduction talk...tonight i simply want to ask for prayer. prayer that i will not let the best of mermaid's behavior get to me...that i will not yell at her when at my wit's end...that i can calmly, kindly, lovingly, yet FIRMLY discipline her when needed. i don't beat my children...but occasionally...i think my words might as well...and i always apologize...but...i am tired of my behavior. don't get me wrong...i am far from abusive...but...i am not acting like the Godly mother that i should. i owe Him more than that...and my children...esp my daughter.
6 months ago i had thoughts so terrible no mother would admit to...so God has delivered us from more than anyone will ever know...whatever was going on with merminator...it made autism look simple...piece of cake...gfcfsf of course...it's a hard road...when you don't relate/enjoy your child...a very hard road. sigh...more moms need to admit to those moments...and then fight like hell to make them go away.
i cannot believe for one minute that i allow bitterness towards our special diet...i cannot believe for one minute that strangers would question when they have no idea about...i cannot believe for one minute that more and more parents with children who are struggling with extreme anger and behavior problems aren't being told: look at their diet!!!!
sigh...day 7 of fat reduction...i want more than reduced fat molecules...i want bigger spiritual muscles...much bigger relationship with Him...and a huge zapper...so that every time i put something that has gluten, casein, or soy near my mouth...it would electrocute me...as i do believe my not watching what i eat severely affects my not watching what i say or how i say it...deepest sigh...how thankful am i to serve a Merciful and Gracious yet Sovereign God!
well...i can say the run with my sole sistah AND my british love...was divine! i begged for them to walk in the beginning and then i guess the tylenol kicked in, and i ended up sprinting...boom boom pow by black eyed peas always gets me going!!
i'm not in the mood for fat reduction talk...tonight i simply want to ask for prayer. prayer that i will not let the best of mermaid's behavior get to me...that i will not yell at her when at my wit's end...that i can calmly, kindly, lovingly, yet FIRMLY discipline her when needed. i don't beat my children...but occasionally...i think my words might as well...and i always apologize...but...i am tired of my behavior. don't get me wrong...i am far from abusive...but...i am not acting like the Godly mother that i should. i owe Him more than that...and my children...esp my daughter.
6 months ago i had thoughts so terrible no mother would admit to...so God has delivered us from more than anyone will ever know...whatever was going on with merminator...it made autism look simple...piece of cake...gfcfsf of course...it's a hard road...when you don't relate/enjoy your child...a very hard road. sigh...more moms need to admit to those moments...and then fight like hell to make them go away.
i cannot believe for one minute that i allow bitterness towards our special diet...i cannot believe for one minute that strangers would question when they have no idea about...i cannot believe for one minute that more and more parents with children who are struggling with extreme anger and behavior problems aren't being told: look at their diet!!!!
sigh...day 7 of fat reduction...i want more than reduced fat molecules...i want bigger spiritual muscles...much bigger relationship with Him...and a huge zapper...so that every time i put something that has gluten, casein, or soy near my mouth...it would electrocute me...as i do believe my not watching what i eat severely affects my not watching what i say or how i say it...deepest sigh...how thankful am i to serve a Merciful and Gracious yet Sovereign God!
Friday, June 5, 2009
day 4...sickly
so the eating part is easy: watermelon, handfuls of stripey chips, ummmmm...a couple of left over potatoes and a few bites of roast...lots of fluids...and now i am forcing a hemp, black cherry, emergen-C, OJ smoothie...
yeppers...i've finally caught the fever that my little ones have so lovingly shared with their mama!
so i didn't run today, but i did completely clean and reorganized the kiddos room. they requested that i move their furniture around (prob bc i do it so often-great therapy for j-bob!!). we got rid of many many toys. i am big on down-sizing. no room for "stuff". i hate it...i have gotten pretty good at only keeping the necessities. every 3 months i go through this "nesting" and get rid of more things. poor OA. last week i re-did the living room and moved our room around. it's my thing...my thing i do...have done...will always do...i think it lends itself to my moving no less than 20 times in the same city before i was 20!
so today i am eating very little, drinking much, and not doing any exercise.
i plan on homeschooling the kiddos through the summer...yes, i'm back on that again. i will remind everyone...it's a dream i have dreamed since j-bob was in utero...but i am so scared to pull j-man from the very place he has bloomed...i mean...BLOOMED. so we shall give it a go this summer...mainly bc his teacher suggested we keep up a tight schedule and not rest on his reading and hand writing. she doesn't want him to lose ground. i love her. she has rocked our lives...sigh. oh...and the other dream i have dreamed is finishing school...deeper sigh...so what's a granola mama to do when her dreams collide? i rest on my husband...but i think dear OA is ready for some financial assistance...peace...get ahead. i owe that to him...we have scraped for the last 6 years...in my defense...i worked...and i mean WORKED...until we came to AR...i brought the j-bob to work then opened my own home daycare when mermaid was 3 weeks old...that's an entirely different blog topic...let's just say...i don't remember much of mermaid's birth until last year!
tomorrow...i run with my sistah...fever or no fever!
yeppers...i've finally caught the fever that my little ones have so lovingly shared with their mama!
so i didn't run today, but i did completely clean and reorganized the kiddos room. they requested that i move their furniture around (prob bc i do it so often-great therapy for j-bob!!). we got rid of many many toys. i am big on down-sizing. no room for "stuff". i hate it...i have gotten pretty good at only keeping the necessities. every 3 months i go through this "nesting" and get rid of more things. poor OA. last week i re-did the living room and moved our room around. it's my thing...my thing i do...have done...will always do...i think it lends itself to my moving no less than 20 times in the same city before i was 20!
so today i am eating very little, drinking much, and not doing any exercise.
i plan on homeschooling the kiddos through the summer...yes, i'm back on that again. i will remind everyone...it's a dream i have dreamed since j-bob was in utero...but i am so scared to pull j-man from the very place he has bloomed...i mean...BLOOMED. so we shall give it a go this summer...mainly bc his teacher suggested we keep up a tight schedule and not rest on his reading and hand writing. she doesn't want him to lose ground. i love her. she has rocked our lives...sigh. oh...and the other dream i have dreamed is finishing school...deeper sigh...so what's a granola mama to do when her dreams collide? i rest on my husband...but i think dear OA is ready for some financial assistance...peace...get ahead. i owe that to him...we have scraped for the last 6 years...in my defense...i worked...and i mean WORKED...until we came to AR...i brought the j-bob to work then opened my own home daycare when mermaid was 3 weeks old...that's an entirely different blog topic...let's just say...i don't remember much of mermaid's birth until last year!
tomorrow...i run with my sistah...fever or no fever!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
day 3...confessions
can i just say...barely audible...i am soo sore!!!! so very sore...it hurts to...breathe! who knew a 20 sec plank...no that was not a typo...i said second...not minute!!
today started off nicely with a hemp smoothie...can i just say...i don't care how granola you are...it takes a bit of...tweaking...to like hemp milk...but when a sistah can't have soy...
which leads me to my next confession...i had a soy latte...i had been 2 and 1/2 days coffee free...yesterday was a killer in the fake energy level...but the burning of my skin to the point of near tears...a lesson in why i have to give up soy...altogether...sigh.
i hate to confess that i...the very bad derailed vegan...ate 3 of those mini burgers from burger king...YIKES...i am embarrassed to say it...we are regulars at BK...talk about confessions...they are the only fast food that has gfcf french fries and burger patties...and it's the granola mama treat when i am feeling like being a bad granola mama...(and sometimes...when i am really feeling rebellious...i throw away paper and plastic...shhhhh...you'll only hear that once!)
ok...so for tonight's dinner...the kiddos are having sweet potato french fries and mermaid will also have slice of turkey...i...i am not even sort of hungry...my skin burns...my head hurts...and i feel like cow carcass...i guess i am what i eat...but is BK really qualified as cow meat? so lots of water...and OA is away thumping up the perfect watermelon (and i am telling on him...he bought himself a frozen pizza and candy!! that man is some kinda addicted to chemicals...i think he is rebelling his wife)!
as for exercise...AYE AYE AYE...we are going to do push ups, plank, and general ab stuff...that should be fun...seeing as it hurts to pee or tie my shoes!!!
tomorrow...i plan to get my run in! wish me luck!!
today started off nicely with a hemp smoothie...can i just say...i don't care how granola you are...it takes a bit of...tweaking...to like hemp milk...but when a sistah can't have soy...
which leads me to my next confession...i had a soy latte...i had been 2 and 1/2 days coffee free...yesterday was a killer in the fake energy level...but the burning of my skin to the point of near tears...a lesson in why i have to give up soy...altogether...sigh.
i hate to confess that i...the very bad derailed vegan...ate 3 of those mini burgers from burger king...YIKES...i am embarrassed to say it...we are regulars at BK...talk about confessions...they are the only fast food that has gfcf french fries and burger patties...and it's the granola mama treat when i am feeling like being a bad granola mama...(and sometimes...when i am really feeling rebellious...i throw away paper and plastic...shhhhh...you'll only hear that once!)
ok...so for tonight's dinner...the kiddos are having sweet potato french fries and mermaid will also have slice of turkey...i...i am not even sort of hungry...my skin burns...my head hurts...and i feel like cow carcass...i guess i am what i eat...but is BK really qualified as cow meat? so lots of water...and OA is away thumping up the perfect watermelon (and i am telling on him...he bought himself a frozen pizza and candy!! that man is some kinda addicted to chemicals...i think he is rebelling his wife)!
as for exercise...AYE AYE AYE...we are going to do push ups, plank, and general ab stuff...that should be fun...seeing as it hurts to pee or tie my shoes!!!
tomorrow...i plan to get my run in! wish me luck!!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
day 2 of fat reduction
ok...i must confess something from yesterday's blog post...as i was falling asleep the horrible images of incredibly delish coconut ice cream came a dancin' in my head...so add that to the "snack" area of yesterday's eatings.
today...i started my morning off by making pancakes (on the same griddle nanny gave the OA and i for our wedding!!), getting a roast/potatoes/carrots in the crock pot, making j-bob's last lunch of the year (for school anyhow), getting j-man ready and off to school, throwing on non-bum-eating shorts and going for a quick 3 miler in the horrid humidity to honor national running day.
sheesh...that was all before 9 am. then i had to run said last lunch by the school as the j-meister forgot it at home...and off to substitute at my daughter's rocking montessori preschool...which she could not go-with as she was still running fever...
home by 1:30...just in time for OA to pass the baton of child-rearing off to me...which included j-bob's friend who is staying for a sleepover! the first sleepover of our career...i am not sure who is having more fun: mermaid or j-bob!? i have never heard so much laughter!! i am sitting in amazement...from the sheer bliss of his interaction (the friend is actually demanding for HIM to play a video game while j wants to play...!!??), his fantastic report card to include a high level reading status, and the incredible vast amount of ground that has been covered by my entire family this very year.
six months ago...i would've predicted that OA and i would have never made it this far...and if we did...we would never be happy...but it is totally incredible when you step outside yourself and allow God to take over...it has been a rough yet rewarding year. i wonder what the summer holds...?
as for fat reduction: 3 mile run...few bites of j's sugar-bread pancake, smoothie, 2 tiny gfcf cookies, apple and pb, and chuck roast/pots/carrots that would make a cow slap a vegetarian it was so good!! i have to admit...for about 30 mins...i was happy my body required that i eat meat again...i am quite sure this cow was happy to give her life...well...i can't go that far...it causes me to tear up and have anxiety over cow-death...geez...i had to go there...now i have the after-taste of carcass and fear in my throat...
my body is extremely sore!! extremely!! and during my run i decided...the problem with my weight-non-loss issues is that it's always been about the number on the scale...i'm over that...today...i just want to feel good...about the bum, the thigh-rubbing aunties (anne lamott...so have to read her books!), and my upper bum (2nd set of cheeks)...and lower bum (3rd set of cheeks)...today...i dreamed of making fergie jealous...HAHA...hey every granola has her dreams...mine include organic garden, endless access to flowers for my yard, recovery of all ASD, and a body like fergies...i mean...do you expect me to be deep all the time??
today...i started my morning off by making pancakes (on the same griddle nanny gave the OA and i for our wedding!!), getting a roast/potatoes/carrots in the crock pot, making j-bob's last lunch of the year (for school anyhow), getting j-man ready and off to school, throwing on non-bum-eating shorts and going for a quick 3 miler in the horrid humidity to honor national running day.
sheesh...that was all before 9 am. then i had to run said last lunch by the school as the j-meister forgot it at home...and off to substitute at my daughter's rocking montessori preschool...which she could not go-with as she was still running fever...
home by 1:30...just in time for OA to pass the baton of child-rearing off to me...which included j-bob's friend who is staying for a sleepover! the first sleepover of our career...i am not sure who is having more fun: mermaid or j-bob!? i have never heard so much laughter!! i am sitting in amazement...from the sheer bliss of his interaction (the friend is actually demanding for HIM to play a video game while j wants to play...!!??), his fantastic report card to include a high level reading status, and the incredible vast amount of ground that has been covered by my entire family this very year.
six months ago...i would've predicted that OA and i would have never made it this far...and if we did...we would never be happy...but it is totally incredible when you step outside yourself and allow God to take over...it has been a rough yet rewarding year. i wonder what the summer holds...?
as for fat reduction: 3 mile run...few bites of j's sugar-bread pancake, smoothie, 2 tiny gfcf cookies, apple and pb, and chuck roast/pots/carrots that would make a cow slap a vegetarian it was so good!! i have to admit...for about 30 mins...i was happy my body required that i eat meat again...i am quite sure this cow was happy to give her life...well...i can't go that far...it causes me to tear up and have anxiety over cow-death...geez...i had to go there...now i have the after-taste of carcass and fear in my throat...
my body is extremely sore!! extremely!! and during my run i decided...the problem with my weight-non-loss issues is that it's always been about the number on the scale...i'm over that...today...i just want to feel good...about the bum, the thigh-rubbing aunties (anne lamott...so have to read her books!), and my upper bum (2nd set of cheeks)...and lower bum (3rd set of cheeks)...today...i dreamed of making fergie jealous...HAHA...hey every granola has her dreams...mine include organic garden, endless access to flowers for my yard, recovery of all ASD, and a body like fergies...i mean...do you expect me to be deep all the time??
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
day 1 of fat reduction
so tonight i decided (after my thighs rubbed against themselves in the heat) that enough is enough!!
i have been going at this health business backwards...only doing one part of the equation at a time...again...enough is enough...it is time that i:
a) stick to gfcfsf with my kiddos
b) include resistance training
c) run regularly
d) stop cheating every other day!
SO...today after catching myself five different times popping j-bob's stripey chips aka ruffles into my mouth...i made myself a smoothie...ate leftover homemade curry rice (that ROCKED, might i add)...and made a semi-vegan lasagna. not sure of the snacks...will make more mental notes of that tomorrow...i am way behind in my water consumption...i have to be honest...this time of year lends itself to gf beer and margaritas and after spending days upon summer days with the kiddos...it's tempting to start partaking around noon!!
BUT...not this granola...this summer i am taking my body back from years of abuse. it is time for me to get healthy and STAY healthy...i am sick every single month...it's pathetic...and it is all about my diet (eating offending foods)...i know this bc j-bob used to be sick all of the time and is rarely sick 2 years into his diet!! mermaid and i have alot of ground to catch up on...
i tried to go for a run, but my shorts apparently were not intended for running...too short and my bum kept trying to eat them...so i humbly walked home about 4 blocks from where i started...BUT...OA and i did some resistance training which is what i would like to start doing every tues and thurs. we did: squats, lunges, push-ups, crunches, and some other crazy leg-tummy thing. we finished strong with a 20 sec plank...OH HOW PATHETIC...but we have to start somewhere, right?!
i am hoping that in 6 weeks i will see results and my plank will be at least one min!! oh, also that the next time my bum decides it's hungry and wants to eat my shorts...i won't be so humiliated by the "cheekiness" of it all...and continue running...shaking my bum eating loving shorts the entire time!!
now off for the second glass of water for the day...aye aye aye!
i have been going at this health business backwards...only doing one part of the equation at a time...again...enough is enough...it is time that i:
a) stick to gfcfsf with my kiddos
b) include resistance training
c) run regularly
d) stop cheating every other day!
SO...today after catching myself five different times popping j-bob's stripey chips aka ruffles into my mouth...i made myself a smoothie...ate leftover homemade curry rice (that ROCKED, might i add)...and made a semi-vegan lasagna. not sure of the snacks...will make more mental notes of that tomorrow...i am way behind in my water consumption...i have to be honest...this time of year lends itself to gf beer and margaritas and after spending days upon summer days with the kiddos...it's tempting to start partaking around noon!!
BUT...not this granola...this summer i am taking my body back from years of abuse. it is time for me to get healthy and STAY healthy...i am sick every single month...it's pathetic...and it is all about my diet (eating offending foods)...i know this bc j-bob used to be sick all of the time and is rarely sick 2 years into his diet!! mermaid and i have alot of ground to catch up on...
i tried to go for a run, but my shorts apparently were not intended for running...too short and my bum kept trying to eat them...so i humbly walked home about 4 blocks from where i started...BUT...OA and i did some resistance training which is what i would like to start doing every tues and thurs. we did: squats, lunges, push-ups, crunches, and some other crazy leg-tummy thing. we finished strong with a 20 sec plank...OH HOW PATHETIC...but we have to start somewhere, right?!
i am hoping that in 6 weeks i will see results and my plank will be at least one min!! oh, also that the next time my bum decides it's hungry and wants to eat my shorts...i won't be so humiliated by the "cheekiness" of it all...and continue running...shaking my bum eating loving shorts the entire time!!
now off for the second glass of water for the day...aye aye aye!
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