well...this seems so simple, but i have finally put my mind around what i need to do in regard to j-bob's diet.
first we have eliminated all sugar and white starches and most grains (keeping quinao flour in back pocket as needed as i have such a sensory sensitive child). i tried to do some home made fruit and juice popsicles but they caused j-bob's rash to flare up (at least i think...he also dipped into his daddy's toothpaste, but at least it is gluten free). so we are back to the basics.
i am going to try coconut flour, but if i need to will use quinoa flour in small amounts to cover his chicken. also, i am going to make various meat "puffs" aka meat balls that have veggies grated into them. i have made a ketchup he can tolerate, and it has a small amount of honey. he also will be getting green apple, celery, carrot sticks, and tahini with a tad of honey as snack. one time a day he is allowed air popped pop corn. we shall see. this drastically reduces his starches. after 2 weeks i will slowly add other food or take away as needed. from what i am reading pear juice doesn't seem to hurt. i am going to try "popsicles" with pear juice, avocados, and coconut milk...may or may not succeed.
supplements...ahhhh...the biggie. i have started back kirkman's pro bio gold...it's a hefty probiotic. we are on 2 capsules a day (for a few weeks) to try to crowd out the bad stuff. i am going to add digestive enzymes, a butter oil/CLO oil capsule, and his daily vitamin and companion powder over the next month. these are the basics...according to all i have put together. there is literally dozens of other things he may need, but i am hoping and praying that God will let this list do most of the work. it's really quite amazing what i have been ignoring this last year. i am thankful his skin is so reactive as skin reactions are so tangible.
i am happy to go into detail or link research as needed...esp if you are interested in name brands. i will let you know some successful recipes as we find them. just know this...every single person should drastically reduce if not piratically eliminate all sugar...at least in the white form. honey, agave nectar, and raw are healthier choices, but i am learning that stevia and xylitol are even better.
My Quivers
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Some Good Books
i have read 10 or more books this summer.
Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller was a fantastic memoir. i have fallen in love with the way she writes! her memoir not only exposes her life but also exposes the beauty of africa yet the ugliness of war.
The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver was another incredible novel about africa...well...a family in africa...it was beyond good...i also fell in love with kingsolver's ability to tell a tale!
Someone Knows My Name by Lawrence Hill was so good that i could barely put it down. something about this book gripped me immediately and spoke to my soul. it's about a little girl being ripped away from her family in africa and being brought back to US as a slave. i was even able to convince OA to read it!
i have read so many good books that i can barely express the goodness of each one, let alone remember what they were, without locating my list! i think that each summer i am going to challenge myself to complete my own summer reading program! maybe i can inspire my kiddos...mermaid already sits at the book shelf lovingly...and she is never far from a huge stack of books!
celiac disease
so i posted about jaden's rash. a dear blog reader took the time to post a comment back which has led me to really dig deep into some research again. i have run across the term dermatitis herpetiformis before when looking into jaden's rashes. i don't know why i have been so lax about his celiac genetic marker from our DAN! visit...just because his blood test came back negative (and when have i EVER needed a blood test to confirm something for me??)...which...his blood tests from the DAN! did confirm the deficiencies that are so typical for celiac disease!! sigh...we have been using all kinds of toothpastes, soaps...well...he gets special soap but we use other in the same tub without proper cleaning, hair gels from my husand's head, play dough, etc. bottom line...i have been more focused on his brain reaction to foods and less focused on his gut reaction...which...is the foundation of all the other problems.
on the same note...i have gone back and forth on my diet...allowing other's comments to allow me to believe that i am simply crazy and without a proper diagnosis i could never be celiac myself...well...all i can say is: PHOOEY on that!!
j-bob has the genetic marker from someone. i have nearly every symptom to include the most recent blood in stool (sorry, too much information) which had gone away for the first time once i started the kiddos diet! it may not be celiac disease...but there is a DEF gluten sensitivity in this house...SO...i will be combing this house for ALL THINGS SAID GLUTEN!! if nothing else, if nothing else i am hoping j-bob's skin will continue to improve AND if my monthly visitor can become more of a friend and less of a crippling painful ghost that haunts...OH BABY!!
please see kat's blog for a great introduction on celiac.
on the same note...i have gone back and forth on my diet...allowing other's comments to allow me to believe that i am simply crazy and without a proper diagnosis i could never be celiac myself...well...all i can say is: PHOOEY on that!!
j-bob has the genetic marker from someone. i have nearly every symptom to include the most recent blood in stool (sorry, too much information) which had gone away for the first time once i started the kiddos diet! it may not be celiac disease...but there is a DEF gluten sensitivity in this house...SO...i will be combing this house for ALL THINGS SAID GLUTEN!! if nothing else, if nothing else i am hoping j-bob's skin will continue to improve AND if my monthly visitor can become more of a friend and less of a crippling painful ghost that haunts...OH BABY!!
please see kat's blog for a great introduction on celiac.
Monday, August 17, 2009
splitting head ache...amazing day
oh...i have the worst head ache i have ever had. it could be from the 3 day lack of all things said: sugar.
or even psuedo-sugar...OR...it could be bc OA ran out and bought the store's worth of sugar free jello and hard candy! i don't do aspartame...but i have today...and i think it's going to kill me faster than my diet!
but i am liking this south beach life style...i wish it never had the term "diet" associated with it...as i would've given it a look sooner!! it's really an amazing detox/healthy living way of life. OA is actually eating veggies...well...sort of. i am wishing i had written down my ingredients to my "bean" dinner tonight...as they were fantastic, AND my darling husband ate all kinds of veggies (i was not allowed to tell him what was in it...HA)!!
anyhow...this may all be incoherent as my head really feels like it's in a vice grip, but i wanted to remember this day. it was our first "official" day of school. we started several weeks ago and then i decided to stop being so type A and let the precious kiddos have their last week of summer break. today was fantastic...it really was...amazing. my kids are singing their memory verses randomly...for fun...and they are remembering them, too! they are enjoying learning...i am enjoying watching them learn. it's all so surreal. really. and then the friends we have and are making in this process is just...a God send. we met said friends at the "duck" pond close to our house. the kiddos got to feed the ducks...actually only two ducks and a gaggle of geese...did you know geese hissed when scared/irritated? well...you do now!
we followed up the feeding of ducks with a walk to the park area...and followed that up with a lego play date for the boys in j-bob's room...mermaid was in rarest of rare forms...very very talkative and extremely un-shy!
i need to post our new diet regime for the kiddos...but needless to say...with the exception of the gfcfsf turkey dogs (that have chemicals...argh...only bc i cannot afford the others) she hasn't had one single chemical in her precious little body. i checked my feingold diet list, and she's pretty much on feingold stage one except those turkey dogs...she did have a head ache this am...and she ate curry chicken last night which had bell peppers and spices that aren't allowed in feingold stage one due to their being high in salicylates...and i am curious to see if she has another head ache in the am...as our meal had several spices not allowed in stage one. ALSO, thanks to a dear blog reader i may have figured out j-bob's rash...we are combing the house/current food items for hidden sources of gluten...i have also pulled alot of his "comfort" starch/sugar foods...and started him back on his probiotic. his skin is considerably better and his eye contact is coming back...alot less crying spells...but really that doesn't make sense as i would expect the yeast die off would cause a worse-before-better kind of reaction. i doubled his probiotic tonight...we shall see what tomorrow holds...maybe it's been hidden gluten this whole time? and maybe it was cross contamination from his beloved: ruffles...aka...stripey chips!
ok...enough rambling...sorry...tonight's post was more for me than anything...helps me sort out my thoughts to see them...thank you for indulging my head-ache-induced-rambling!!
or even psuedo-sugar...OR...it could be bc OA ran out and bought the store's worth of sugar free jello and hard candy! i don't do aspartame...but i have today...and i think it's going to kill me faster than my diet!
but i am liking this south beach life style...i wish it never had the term "diet" associated with it...as i would've given it a look sooner!! it's really an amazing detox/healthy living way of life. OA is actually eating veggies...well...sort of. i am wishing i had written down my ingredients to my "bean" dinner tonight...as they were fantastic, AND my darling husband ate all kinds of veggies (i was not allowed to tell him what was in it...HA)!!
anyhow...this may all be incoherent as my head really feels like it's in a vice grip, but i wanted to remember this day. it was our first "official" day of school. we started several weeks ago and then i decided to stop being so type A and let the precious kiddos have their last week of summer break. today was fantastic...it really was...amazing. my kids are singing their memory verses randomly...for fun...and they are remembering them, too! they are enjoying learning...i am enjoying watching them learn. it's all so surreal. really. and then the friends we have and are making in this process is just...a God send. we met said friends at the "duck" pond close to our house. the kiddos got to feed the ducks...actually only two ducks and a gaggle of geese...did you know geese hissed when scared/irritated? well...you do now!
we followed up the feeding of ducks with a walk to the park area...and followed that up with a lego play date for the boys in j-bob's room...mermaid was in rarest of rare forms...very very talkative and extremely un-shy!
i need to post our new diet regime for the kiddos...but needless to say...with the exception of the gfcfsf turkey dogs (that have chemicals...argh...only bc i cannot afford the others) she hasn't had one single chemical in her precious little body. i checked my feingold diet list, and she's pretty much on feingold stage one except those turkey dogs...she did have a head ache this am...and she ate curry chicken last night which had bell peppers and spices that aren't allowed in feingold stage one due to their being high in salicylates...and i am curious to see if she has another head ache in the am...as our meal had several spices not allowed in stage one. ALSO, thanks to a dear blog reader i may have figured out j-bob's rash...we are combing the house/current food items for hidden sources of gluten...i have also pulled alot of his "comfort" starch/sugar foods...and started him back on his probiotic. his skin is considerably better and his eye contact is coming back...alot less crying spells...but really that doesn't make sense as i would expect the yeast die off would cause a worse-before-better kind of reaction. i doubled his probiotic tonight...we shall see what tomorrow holds...maybe it's been hidden gluten this whole time? and maybe it was cross contamination from his beloved: ruffles...aka...stripey chips!
ok...enough rambling...sorry...tonight's post was more for me than anything...helps me sort out my thoughts to see them...thank you for indulging my head-ache-induced-rambling!!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
R.I.P. "frig-ity" the frog
deep sigh...i lost a frog...the first to grow all four legs...i fondly referred to him as: frig-ity.
i was much more distraught over this find than the kiddos.
we still have 3 tadpoles...one of which is sprouting his second set of legs...i am wondering if i should have supplied some crickets or something...which...i am not sure if i am capable of doing?
anyhow.
my darling son has had some regression issues...i have been trying to ignore them all summer. it started with this wicked rash which has grown into wicked sores...it's terrible. it has culminated with his weepiness, lack of eye contact, peripheral stemming, need of mommy as an anchor, etc. i initially thought he was just really loving me...as he started needing me to hold him more...but i have noticed that he is needing more than cuddles...he is using my arms to squeeze him (sensory input), my hands to bang.bang.bang. (more sensory input), my body as a trampoline (even more sensory input). he is hiding under covers in tears...red cheeked and splotchy faced...his eyes have dark circles. i cannot deny...my son is regressing.
just one month ago i commented: he is as recovered as he needs to be.
wrong.
the funny thing...the human body...it's fragile...and what seems like a summer of fun and innocent indulgence has led up to: regression.
but my God is big...bigger than autism. and my son is in there...and he isn't trapped...and i'll be damned if he becomes that way due to my laziness!
that being said...we start a very strict diet tomorrow. south beach stage one for the grown ups...and little to no un-necessary carbs and NO SUGAR for the kiddos...we will all be miserable for the sake of healing...but in one to two weeks...i am betting we feel better than ever!!!
oh, gotta go...the doorbell is ringing...it's the pizza delivery man!! HAHA...OA and i are having a farewell party to carbs and crappy eating!! *sheepish grinning sigh*
i was much more distraught over this find than the kiddos.
we still have 3 tadpoles...one of which is sprouting his second set of legs...i am wondering if i should have supplied some crickets or something...which...i am not sure if i am capable of doing?
anyhow.
my darling son has had some regression issues...i have been trying to ignore them all summer. it started with this wicked rash which has grown into wicked sores...it's terrible. it has culminated with his weepiness, lack of eye contact, peripheral stemming, need of mommy as an anchor, etc. i initially thought he was just really loving me...as he started needing me to hold him more...but i have noticed that he is needing more than cuddles...he is using my arms to squeeze him (sensory input), my hands to bang.bang.bang. (more sensory input), my body as a trampoline (even more sensory input). he is hiding under covers in tears...red cheeked and splotchy faced...his eyes have dark circles. i cannot deny...my son is regressing.
just one month ago i commented: he is as recovered as he needs to be.
wrong.
the funny thing...the human body...it's fragile...and what seems like a summer of fun and innocent indulgence has led up to: regression.
but my God is big...bigger than autism. and my son is in there...and he isn't trapped...and i'll be damned if he becomes that way due to my laziness!
that being said...we start a very strict diet tomorrow. south beach stage one for the grown ups...and little to no un-necessary carbs and NO SUGAR for the kiddos...we will all be miserable for the sake of healing...but in one to two weeks...i am betting we feel better than ever!!!
oh, gotta go...the doorbell is ringing...it's the pizza delivery man!! HAHA...OA and i are having a farewell party to carbs and crappy eating!! *sheepish grinning sigh*
Sunday, August 9, 2009
nothing like God fueled determination!
sorry this is a repeat if you read our running blog...
ok...first of all...i needed last night more than i realized. i love my sistah living in conway simply bc it affords more time with her beloved kiddos...but i didn't realize what a hole it has left in my running shoes/heart!!
i have begun homeschooling, and my husband works crazy hours...which has left my running and healthy eating sitting on the side of the road waving at me for several weeks.
last night sole sistah came over with the indians...our children had sooooo much fun...there was very little girl time to be had between the running sistahs...but the two mamas in us were smiling over our half-spoken-constantly-interrupted-pseudo-conversations while we soaked up our kiddos happiness via osmosis...and did i mention there was vegan gumbo??
SO...not only did i drink my 80 oz of water and eat my healthy running fuel, i also spent QT with my sole sistah...whom i have missed dearly.
this morning i woke refreshed...i wanted to go to church...but my dear hubby has worked late everday this week, and i knew that he would be incoherent for most of it...rather than be irritated by the situation...i decided to do my devotional and go for a much needed run which is usually my best time of worship anyhow! my mind told me: I WILL DO 8 MILES...IF IT KILLED ME...and then i prayed for God to bless me with the ability to accomplish this goal.
long story short...i ran (sprinting the last 1/4 mile) for 80 mins...got home...mapmyrun'd my distance...WHAT?! are you KIDDING ME?? 6.5 miles?? seriously...not even 7?? so i took a deep breath...downed some much needed water...had my kids rub me for good luck...and headed out the door to finish my 8. i felt like i was running under water...my whole body hurt...but God is good and a nice fog settled over me so that it felt like i was being gently kissed by a cloud.
i did 2 miles...i am embarrassed to say it took 26 mins...but...that's the truth...came in...re-mapped it...ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? i had messed up the first time...and ended up running 8.9 miles...HAHAHA!! hooray. i had many epiphanies...i am worried this post is too long to list any...but hey...as it stands...i am currently only a feature writer on this blog of ours!
my biggest epiphany was this: forgiveness comes easier to me than trust...i have been working thru this for a while...actually...since God blessed me with my dearest sistah. our runs...led me to the heart (literally) of my "issues"...i desperately love my husband...another epiphany on a past run...but today i realized that it is God's job to tear down the walls of our heart...not ours...not our spouses...not the people in our past who hurt us...simply God's...but after He tears them down...it is our job to let Him keep us from re-building them...because just one brick a day or a week can add up pretty quickly. it's been almost 10 years of marriage for me to fully embrace the fact that my husband loves me...dearly...and he isn't going to abandon me...ever. it has taken nearly 10 years for me to realize that he loves me intensely just because i am me...and he likes me just the way i am...it's all so simple...isn't love supposed to be much more complex than that? i don't think so! just like a few simple slower steps of walking within a long run balances the muscles nicely...some more ying to the yang...life isn't meant to be a task we accomplish...rather...to be a journey we slowly enjoy. as believers...we already know the ending...so why not celebrate the middle!?
and believe it or not...marriage...love...motherhood...friendship...and running...these are all things that may be tough...but can still be thoroughly enjoyed!!
ok...first of all...i needed last night more than i realized. i love my sistah living in conway simply bc it affords more time with her beloved kiddos...but i didn't realize what a hole it has left in my running shoes/heart!!
i have begun homeschooling, and my husband works crazy hours...which has left my running and healthy eating sitting on the side of the road waving at me for several weeks.
last night sole sistah came over with the indians...our children had sooooo much fun...there was very little girl time to be had between the running sistahs...but the two mamas in us were smiling over our half-spoken-constantly-interrupted-pseudo-conversations while we soaked up our kiddos happiness via osmosis...and did i mention there was vegan gumbo??
SO...not only did i drink my 80 oz of water and eat my healthy running fuel, i also spent QT with my sole sistah...whom i have missed dearly.
this morning i woke refreshed...i wanted to go to church...but my dear hubby has worked late everday this week, and i knew that he would be incoherent for most of it...rather than be irritated by the situation...i decided to do my devotional and go for a much needed run which is usually my best time of worship anyhow! my mind told me: I WILL DO 8 MILES...IF IT KILLED ME...and then i prayed for God to bless me with the ability to accomplish this goal.
long story short...i ran (sprinting the last 1/4 mile) for 80 mins...got home...mapmyrun'd my distance...WHAT?! are you KIDDING ME?? 6.5 miles?? seriously...not even 7?? so i took a deep breath...downed some much needed water...had my kids rub me for good luck...and headed out the door to finish my 8. i felt like i was running under water...my whole body hurt...but God is good and a nice fog settled over me so that it felt like i was being gently kissed by a cloud.
i did 2 miles...i am embarrassed to say it took 26 mins...but...that's the truth...came in...re-mapped it...ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? i had messed up the first time...and ended up running 8.9 miles...HAHAHA!! hooray. i had many epiphanies...i am worried this post is too long to list any...but hey...as it stands...i am currently only a feature writer on this blog of ours!
my biggest epiphany was this: forgiveness comes easier to me than trust...i have been working thru this for a while...actually...since God blessed me with my dearest sistah. our runs...led me to the heart (literally) of my "issues"...i desperately love my husband...another epiphany on a past run...but today i realized that it is God's job to tear down the walls of our heart...not ours...not our spouses...not the people in our past who hurt us...simply God's...but after He tears them down...it is our job to let Him keep us from re-building them...because just one brick a day or a week can add up pretty quickly. it's been almost 10 years of marriage for me to fully embrace the fact that my husband loves me...dearly...and he isn't going to abandon me...ever. it has taken nearly 10 years for me to realize that he loves me intensely just because i am me...and he likes me just the way i am...it's all so simple...isn't love supposed to be much more complex than that? i don't think so! just like a few simple slower steps of walking within a long run balances the muscles nicely...some more ying to the yang...life isn't meant to be a task we accomplish...rather...to be a journey we slowly enjoy. as believers...we already know the ending...so why not celebrate the middle!?
and believe it or not...marriage...love...motherhood...friendship...and running...these are all things that may be tough...but can still be thoroughly enjoyed!!
Friday, August 7, 2009
tadpoles and food cravings
today we met our home school social group at the local park. it was instantly wonderful. it ended with some of the children wading through the small creek and collecting tadpoles in my coffee mug! we borrowed my mom's aquarium that has been absent of life for several months. my hippie skirt was privy to old fish juice, creek water, tadpole sloshing, and mud...i was as much in Heaven as the kiddos! we gathered some rocks and greenery from the creek and purchased some spring water. j-bob's room is home to our latest additions. i cannot remember what the kiddos named them...but i seem to recall they were all star wars related! i am thinking we have four little tadpoles...here's to our first exciting science lab!! i am trying to follow Charlotte Mason's philosophy of education...that's for an entirely different blog post...i HIGHLY recommend anyone with children to read: For the Children's Sake. it was incredible and has given me words to the lifestyle i dream of...well...besides homesteading or mission work in africa...anyhoo...i haven't been running...OH...and did i mention that i have two...yes...TWO...half marathons back to back in oct. GEEZ...how do i get myself into these things. if i survive those...i plan to run my first full marathon in dec. we shall see...right now i can barely pull off 3 successful miles. it is quite possibly the fact that i am eating my weight's worth of...anything starchy...sugary...junkish...my fridge is spilling over with fruits and veggies...and all i can dream of is spicy curry and delectable cheese dip...what is WRONG WITH ME!!?? i have even allowed my children to eat skittles...several times...and i do mean several...this summer. my evil friend: red40 aka "the devil"...yes...those adorable rainbow colored fruity flavored circles are gfcfsf but NOT free of dyes...sigh. i can only be so perfect. i plan to start a detox...soon. i have gone far out of control...speaking of out of control...has anyone tried the new snickers dark:
AYE AYE AYE!! how's a granola supposed to heal her body....when such temptations flirt with me at the grocery aisle checkout!?
Thursday, August 6, 2009
so sorry!! massive catch up post!
ok...every night i get the kiddos settled, flip on the pc, research curriculum, and then nod off to sleep. i dream of blogging...remember how life used to be way back when autism was my only worry! HA
don't let me fool you...I AM IN HEAVEN! we started our school by choice a few weeks ago. i wanted to have it "down" before i added in my on-line classes. i will confess...i am a bit nervous about my stress level when i add in those classes! BUT...i believe God will get me through it all.
i can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that my family has been called to home schooling. it fits, it works, it is so much fun. i have yet to throw myself across the bed and scream into the covers...so...we shall see!! i think it's easier for us because we are a family that doesn't like...deadlines? or more like...agendas...we just like to flow with life. don't get me wrong, i am very focused on our routine and accomplishing our goals...just not forcefully!
so blah blah blah...i shall have more to post...i promise to work blogging back into my routine. it is essential as it is my only "baby book"...i secretly covet/hate all of you gifted scrappers...!
update on j-bob's diet...he has done fantastic this summer. we have back-slidden a bit the last month, and it reflects in his unwillingness to eat the new foods. though, i have phased him into "baked" chicken nuggets as opposed to "fried"! that's a huge step. i have been terrible about supplements. it's more of a money thing. denial is so wonderful. but he is doing so well that sometimes i just try to think it's not that important. lately i have been convicted that i need to get back on my biomedical bandwagon. that wagon usually leaves me with bags under my eyes and hooked up to a coffee drip as i stop sleeping from so much research. i describe it as going under and then coming up for air...i have been up for air for several months now...time to dig deep again.
speaking of coming up for air...i hope my next post will be a list of all the books that i have read this summer. it has been an amazing thing...reading for pleasure!! kindof like when your kids are older, and you finally feel pretty again (relatively speaking anyway) and have sex for pleasure (with your spouse...mind you!!) instead of "because it's the wifely thing to do!". feels so...indulgent...reading that is! i need to make a list. i have many great reads to recommend!!
i have so many running epiphanies, thoughts to share, secrets to divulge...i am making breakthroughs from my past...i guess one could say this last month has been truly revealing...i am very excited about what God has for my present. i hope that i have the courage to share it all with you...my dearest blog readers. this blog saw me through one of the toughest...loneliest times of my life...i hope that i can be as dedicated and open as i step into a new phase. the phase of hope and trust. we shall see....we shall see.
don't let me fool you...I AM IN HEAVEN! we started our school by choice a few weeks ago. i wanted to have it "down" before i added in my on-line classes. i will confess...i am a bit nervous about my stress level when i add in those classes! BUT...i believe God will get me through it all.
i can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that my family has been called to home schooling. it fits, it works, it is so much fun. i have yet to throw myself across the bed and scream into the covers...so...we shall see!! i think it's easier for us because we are a family that doesn't like...deadlines? or more like...agendas...we just like to flow with life. don't get me wrong, i am very focused on our routine and accomplishing our goals...just not forcefully!
so blah blah blah...i shall have more to post...i promise to work blogging back into my routine. it is essential as it is my only "baby book"...i secretly covet/hate all of you gifted scrappers...!
update on j-bob's diet...he has done fantastic this summer. we have back-slidden a bit the last month, and it reflects in his unwillingness to eat the new foods. though, i have phased him into "baked" chicken nuggets as opposed to "fried"! that's a huge step. i have been terrible about supplements. it's more of a money thing. denial is so wonderful. but he is doing so well that sometimes i just try to think it's not that important. lately i have been convicted that i need to get back on my biomedical bandwagon. that wagon usually leaves me with bags under my eyes and hooked up to a coffee drip as i stop sleeping from so much research. i describe it as going under and then coming up for air...i have been up for air for several months now...time to dig deep again.
speaking of coming up for air...i hope my next post will be a list of all the books that i have read this summer. it has been an amazing thing...reading for pleasure!! kindof like when your kids are older, and you finally feel pretty again (relatively speaking anyway) and have sex for pleasure (with your spouse...mind you!!) instead of "because it's the wifely thing to do!". feels so...indulgent...reading that is! i need to make a list. i have many great reads to recommend!!
i have so many running epiphanies, thoughts to share, secrets to divulge...i am making breakthroughs from my past...i guess one could say this last month has been truly revealing...i am very excited about what God has for my present. i hope that i have the courage to share it all with you...my dearest blog readers. this blog saw me through one of the toughest...loneliest times of my life...i hope that i can be as dedicated and open as i step into a new phase. the phase of hope and trust. we shall see....we shall see.
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