My Quivers

My Quivers

Thursday, April 17, 2008

don't dish it out if you cannot take it...

and for me the dishing would be in the form of advice...

about food, chemicals in food, hidden sensitivities to food, sensory issues, behavioral issues...and...drum roll please...not settling for a mediocre life...

the last...mediocrocrity...something i have feared most my life...what sets the mediocre person apart from the non-mediocre? i believe it's simple: perspective and passion

the ability to have the proper perspective of thankfulness and love...and then the passion to act on each of these...there are many things i am passionate about...many...and not just sort-of-passionate...no...i am the OVER-THE-TOP-IN-YOUR-FACE-PASSIONATE...problem is...that kind of passion gets exhausting and overwhelming when it pulls me into....hmmm...i would guess no less than 10 different directions...so as i just caught myself telling a perfect stranger in a blog comment...to basically...live every moment...more than live...experience...experience life...i had to stop...take a deep inventoried breath...and ask: do i do that? really...really experience life?

i hope so...i want to make every moment count...by doing that i have to slow the dreamer in me down a bit and speed the perfectionist waiting til every aspect of every detail is properly aligned with the cosmos up...feed the flesh a little less...and the spirit a little more...love everyone i meet...i mean really really loving them...stopping my thoughts...listening to their long stories...not from politness..rather..real interest...realize that where i am today...right now...this very second...is where He wants me to be...in His amazing Grace and Mercy...sigh...it's when i do these things...i feel fulfilled...

do i still want to run a marathon and have an orphanage in africa someday...learn to sew hippie skirts...knit pokemon toys for my kiddos...rescue every unloved child...re-beak every de-beaked chicken...(and thank the one who graciously gave her life for the jay-man to lick)...sigh...sigh...sigh...sigh...

i want it all...but today...i am a wife...a mother...a daughter...a sister...a friend...in hick-ville usa...traveling only as far as the nearest wal-mart store requires...sigh...and the scary part is...i like it...sometimes i am not sure...am i experiencing life...or is life experiencing me?

i hope it's both...

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