labeling

labeling...hmmm...the big one.

if you have been reading my blogs from the beginning...you realize...i am quick to discuss things that many other people may typically shy away from.

i am not ashamed of money problems, not shaving (regularly that is), potty issues, PMS, etc. i think it may be one thing i got from my father...if i can shock you...and your shock is good...i'll just keep it coming...until the shock factor is over...and then i am bored. but not everything is about shock factor...i love real-ness. real people, real feelings, real life. and when you are keeping it real...you simply have to lay that stinky old pride aside.

ok...so in my quest for keeping it real...or more accurately...my inability to be fake (maybe i am a bit on the spectrum myself!)...i find myself constantly saying: yeah, my son, he's on the autistic spectrum...

and then the shock comes over the person's face...and they say something like: really, he doesn't look autistic (always well-intentioned...but kind of sends me over the edge depending on my mood)!?

then i fumble based on the person's knowledge or lack thereof to accurately describe in 1 minute or less what i mean by "on the spectrum", and then i try to add more accurately to what i mean by j-bob specifically...blah blah blah...then i sit and wonder...WHY DO I DO THAT TO MYSELF AND MY SON!!??

well, i have asked myself that question many times. i don't believe that labels should define anyone. i didn't seek a label for my son in an effort to have excuses for him...rather...the label brought greater knowledge and greater understanding to his behavior. it led me to therapies and biomedical treatments that i otherwise would have been ignorant. the label has also brought my family into a world that only other ASD families can belong. and in that community we have found a powerful sense of love and belonging...

i never want to hide j-bob behind a label...nor do i want to hide as a family behind his diagnosis.

rather, i remind myself...i have been thrown into the roll of an advocate. in order to be a successful advocate...others must understand what i am advocating. i truly believe that j-man touches lives...beyond my comprehension. i love that every person whose life he touches will undeniably walk away from their preconceived notions about autism...that they will think differently...maybe even advocate themselves...on behalf of a little boy in glasses with the amazing eyelashes and contagious smile...yep...he's on the spectrum...and it's not slowing him down at all...honestly, the social quirkiness that he still has coupled with his sensory issues are nothing, NOTHING compared to the hidden food sensitivities and absorption issues that plagued him most of his life...his DAN! said on our first meeting: i am not concerned with what his label is...i am concerned with healing his body...until his body is working properly...therapy and other services will not be nearly as effective.

she was right! i cannot imagine living life pre-biomedical intervention! yet, i look forward to living life post-autism. honestly, today...i wouldn't change a thing. i love the child i have...and as long as he is not trapped in pain...i am happy for him to obsess over mario bros...i will talk pokemon all day...i am very thankful for the long-term payoff those thomas the trains have brought our lives! my son is as pure as any five year old boy can be...his innocence hurts my heart...he is nothing short of precious...my precious son with autism...truly...since the biomedical/therapies...i find my "special needs" child far easier to raise than my "neuro-typical" child...of course is there anything "NT" about females??!!

oh, my mermaid...i am not quite sure how "NT" that little girl is...talk about someone who will undeniably shake the world...and watch out world...don't you dare even consider bullying her "big bruda"!! she was two years old sticking her finger in two other older girls faces shouting: NONO! because they were picking on j-bob...i still laugh...yet another stellar moment from a fast-food playground area...ahh...the playground of life...anyone else ever beg: please let me off this merry-go-round!?

unless the merry-go-round included these two precious angels who i am honored to call my children...childhood...with a few one hundred sighs...it is gone...

sigh...