we survived!!

i am glad my first attempt to access my blog was unsuccessful this morning. we had a rough start to the day, as jay-bob NEVER likes to go anywhere in the mornings...unless it's his best friend's house...BUT...once we got there...he did wonderful.

my sorrow really hit me as i dropped the mermaid off at preschool. i could feel her anxiety as she realized that her brother...aka security blanket...was not there...i think for the first time in her very grown up little preschool life...she was actually only a three year old today...the feeling was foreign to her...and it was foreign and heart wrenching for me to see that discomfort. that being said...upon picking her up...she was full of life and self-confidence.

my heart is thanking my God...it's hard to trust...but the pay-off is always so rewarding! let me not get carried away with myself...i cried...the neurotic-mommy-who-never-wants-to-let-go is throwing one hell of a temper tantrum right now...but the God-trusting-mommy-desperately-trying-to-make-right-decisions is breathing deep breaths satisfied with today's results.

of course, as always in our lives, we have had to throw expectations out the windows...i can't dress my son for cuteness...we resorted on the fourth try...to a simple soft t-shirt with soft t-shirt shorts...screw MY wishes to send him in a matching outfit...AND...the pictures will have to be of his second day of school, as we were so consumed with not being more than 30 mins late due to a clothes melt-down...that i forgot to put the memory stick back in my camera...as i was also up very late finishing a social story for the j-man in the event that he got to missing us too much...SO...eventually i will learn to embrace my family's uniqueness DURING the unique moment and not have to rely on my ability to reflect and learn later.

sometimes i feel that it would be much easier on ME to home school as it seems like a safer haven...for me and my children. i pray God opens that door in the future...though...i believe jay-man has a specific calling on his life...and me sharing him with the world may just be God's will...

simple-sigh

one step at a time...