well...i have made a huge decision...esp for this type A, perfectionistic granola...if there is such a thing...no wonder i have issues...those traits don't easily co-exist with one another...
anyhow...i am slowing down. there is a project option in one of my classes...if you don't do them...your highest earn-able grade is a C...just typing that makes my heart beat faster, breathing shorter, and i am quite sure i just talked myself out of a mini-panic attack...a C...really...am i going to allow myself to take a C!?
well, yes...i am...i consider it therapy for one...who the heck cares about a freaking C...well besides other type A's...can i tell you...dear readers what i HAVE earned this semester?? A's on all tests (well i made an 88 on one test that i didn't study for and was sick while taking), papers, and assignments...yes...in addition to sending my less than one year's ASD diagnosed son to kindergarten...in addition to starting a new diet and therapies for my daughter...in addition to the one hundred other ridiculous/wonderfully rewarding things i sign myself up for EVERYDAY!? i think a C won't keep me from Heaven...which...is my ultimate goal anyhow...not to mention spending the precious and amazing moments of childhood with my rug-rats...and squeezing all the sexy love out of my man...and loving the incredible friends God has blessed me with...that's what counts...
today...i am slowing down...(my mom will read this...laugh...and say...uh huh...and for how long!?) well...the idea is not to stop...just start constantly evaluating my choices...BEFORE...i make them...i am learning...i am great at making objective and well-thought decisions with the big stuff...it's in all the: sure, i'll do it...oh, ok...i don't mind to do that...and why don't you let me....
so can i get some reminders when i get my grades at the end of the semester? OA is supportive, relieved, but a tad nervous that the reality of a C will send me straight over the edge...autism, merminator, marriage, financial difficulties...nothing i can't handle (in His Mercy)...but a freaking C...oh my...maybe i should start working on that project after all...
3 comments:
Take a deep breath and take the C! :)
Proud of YOU!
LOL! First of all congrats on the grades with all you have going on...and training for the marathon, oh my! I remember the days so well... I got a B on speach on time because of my southern accent. When I told my daddy, I burst into tears, and he burst out laughing. I agree with Betsy, take the "C" it will be well worth it in the long run. God bless you and yours richly... as we enter into this season of thanksgiving. :-D
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