so...my running is going better than i ever imagined...i have successfully ran 8 miles...we backed off this week but will revisit those 8 again next weekend...sigh...i'm so close to 13.1!
that being said...the day after my birthday...i began a radical change...kind of a combination of all things said granola-diet-lifestyle-dreams-combo...if i have thought about giving it up in the past...well...i gave it up last week: meat, gluten, casein, coffee (had one small today...but won't make that mistake again!), hmm...am i forgetting something??
well...i bloated up like a hippo...and i'm serious...i gained over 5 lbs...it was VERY frustrating...i have been on and off the scales more than i care to admit...OA keeps shaking his head and muttering that he's gonna throw my scales away...well...what's the problem...i'm working hard...i want to know the minute i get a single result...
which is exactly why i conceded to having him hide my scales today...i have eaten so healthy this week...my runs have been incredible...effortless (well...almost)...my cravings and mood swings have gotten much more stable...i mean...come on...look at the success i have had in one week...BUT...instead i have focused on the number...i want it down...it's all i see...it's all i think about...i finally realized...after a good swift quick in the 8 mile running bootie from the good Lord Himself...that i am so focused on some number (ridiculous one at that) that i am not celebrating the fact that i have accomplished more in the last month or so physically and mentally than i ever have before...and my goodness...what am i teaching my daughter?? is my weight what defines me?? or rather...is what is coming from my heart...what defines me? i hope my heart speaks louder than my neurosis...
i am so thankful i serve a God who sees inside...i also pray...that my job in Heaven will include running with the winged horses...when i'm not fixated on losing 3 more pounds...i find my mind drifting to Him...what He wants...what He sees...there is so much more to worry about in life than 3 pounds...how foolish...how self-centered...what happened to my inspiration of running to beat autism...prove that it does not define my family...rather...we are determined to define it...show a beautiful face to ASD...that is what caused me to lace up my shoes the first time...oh Lord, thank You...for Your amazing Grace and Mercy! thank You for meeting me half way...every single time!
My Quivers
4 comments:
Good Job Girl! Your poor little body is probably in detox! When I started eating more "clean foods" after Ike was 6 weeks old, I was sick as a dog after a "cheat" meal of a burger. And it was even paired with a salad! Give your system time and remember your Mermaid who is watching her Momma weigh herself upon every trip to the bathroom. I, too, have fallen into that trap. What a sweet boy you have in OA!
I think you are superwoman!!
Balancing a busy schedule, meals, and running...wow! keep up the good work and congratulations on the accomplishment. I really don't think I could make it around the neighborhood.
I am always amazed when I read your blog. Great job on the running! I took my scales out to the back 40 and let Jake use them for target practice! I need to loose 15 or 20 pounds and have been working hard the past couple of days on a strategy. Oh, you mean I have to actually step on to the treadmill and hit that red button? LOL At least I too am eating healthier due to your influence...don't know if I am ready to give up coffee...one step at a time... God bless you all and I love the pics of the family :-D gives face to my prayers.
Well said, and with His help you can do anything. Because I love your blog, I give you The Butterfly Award. You can collect it here: http://crispy-not-crunchy.blogspot.com/2009/01/id-like-to-thank-academy.html
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