Defender of the defenseless

My daughter is missing her top two front teeth.  Every parent out there can most likely relate to the absolute heart-stopping-adorableness this adds to one's child---every child.  She also has the kind of wavy bobbed hair that causes strangers to stop and tell her how cute it is.  She's intensely shy, so she never quite handles herself the same way with each compliment (I admire her humility).  She'd rather eat a worm than have people stop and stare at her.  The problem is that she possesses the kind of beauty that makes you pause-breathe it in.  There's something about her.  I have always struggled to define her...even she often cannot figure out what she wants or what she likes...much like her Mama...indecision...because every single angle has to be considered, mulled, weighed.  No choice is just a "simple choice".  It drives her Daddy insane.  He knows exactly what he wants at all times.  He never seems to question himself and is gifted with this remarkable ability to see all, do all, and decide all...AT ONE TIME.  It's truly an amazing thing to behold.

There's a steep looking rock wall of sorts by our house.  We pass it every time we go onto the interstate.  It snuggles up to this incredible hill that my old car struggles to chug up.  One day Mermaid said:  Someday, I am going to climb that hill.  It's probably gonna be hard, but I won't stop till I reach the top.

A smile rushed across my face.  I have the exact same feelings about the hill it befriends and my running.  And it was hard.  It was then that I realized that Mermaid's "word" per se is "DETERMINED".  A determined infant, and a determined toddler, and a determined preschooler are VERY difficult to raise.  A determined 7 year old?  Oh my.  It's heart-stopping.  Much like her toothless grin, adorable hair, breathless beauty.  She is also determined to rid the world of all social and moral injustice.  Today I told her that I was going to change her name to Merci, the defender of the defenseless.  Oh how fitting it would be. 

It terrifies me a little...her intensity-beauty-determination-protectiveness...all wrapped up in a giggling little girl with two top missing teeth.  Her Mama's indecisiveness and her Daddy's focused ability to get what he sets out to accomplish.  I marvel at the way God uses her already.  I celebrate the life He has blessed me with in my youngest...desperate to no longer be the youngest...and somehow managing by His Grace to pull that one off.

I am blessed to be the apple of her eye.  I pray that I never lose my status in her heart.  I ask God to defy all stereotypes of Mothers and Daughters.  In my life, I have never met one as unique as she.  She is, by far, one of my Hero and I's best accomplishments thus far...not to exclude her brother...whom I will save for tomorrow's post...and I am a better person because of them.

just in case you were wondering:

• almond milk, agave nectar, and coffee have to be the welcoming drink at Heaven's gates...

• even meat eaters should only get about 7 to 9 oz of their protein from actual meat...

• kids enjoy cleaning with their mama...beside them enjoying it, too...and music makes it even more fun!

• i have a big pot of assorted soup beans simmering on the stove...makes me feel like a "real grown up"...

• on my night stand right now: scandalous freedom (highly recommend this book...not for the faint of heart...i'd say it's very much for those who struggle with legalism...but it's just as much for those who struggle with legalists), nutrition book for class, marathon book, running and fitness book, stitch 'n bitch (i have been dying for this book and the library finally had it on the shelf...it's a fun approach to knitting), and 101 designer one skein wonders (because when you are poor...you must learn to do more with less...one skein for the non-knitting readers...is basically one ball of yarn), oh and of course the ever present Charlotte Mason Companion (this is an amazing book for anyone who home schools...but especially for those of us doing the CM method).

• we dab lavender essential oil under mermaid's nose to calm her and to help her "nose work"...it's one of the first things she asks for in the morning and last thing she requests at night.

• i am shamefully addicted to spin class...i think about it way more than any normal person should...but we all know...i am far from normal!!

Mermaid

What does this child dream about?

She is so incredibly intense already...

I try so hard not to focus on her beauty,
as I want her to understand she has so much more to offer than just her beautiful features...

yet
already, i catch myself...

we call her 'beauty'

strangers stop us and stare

three years later, i still cannot breathe properly when i look at her...

my God,

she is so incredibly beautiful...

is this how You feel when You look at us?