It was brilliant...for one moment...it burned so brightly that only it had my full attention...and then it was gone...as quickly as it came...unexpected...unnoticed by many...poof.
Once upon a time...there was a little girl who would wish upon a star every night before she went to bed:
"Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight; I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight...a doll, my daddy to come back, and for any child going to bed sad or scared to know that somewhere somebody out there loves them."
Many years go by and suddenly her "star light, star bright" wishes go away. They are replaced with survival. They are replaced with terrified prayers for protection...visions of angels surrounding her small family unit...baby dolls are used to make a perimeter barrier around her bed so that she would know if anyone came into her room while she was sleeping. There are no stars big enough to make her daddy come back and save her.
Many more years go by and the little girl grows up thinking men are bad, not to be trusted, worthless. She only attaches herself to the ones incapable of attaching themselves back. She is stupid with her choices, actions, and body. She is completely and undeniably miserable.
Several more years follow and the girl is not a girl anymore...and she is tired of where her life is not going. She has given up most of her own dreams for a boy...a boy she knows was never the answer. A boy who leaves...and with his absence...she is forced to recognize that she doesn't even know herself anymore.
She packs her bags and moves away. She vows to never date much less to ever marry. She finds herself alone...empty...confused...scared...and full of regret. But in the loneliness of her life, she discovers that she is strong, smart, valuable.
She still swears to never marry.
And then along comes a boy.
This boy never lets her run away...no matter how hard she pushes...she simply can't seem to shake his loyal resolve. He is in love. She is terrified. Somehow four months later, she finds herself staring at this boy in front of a handful of loved ones and several strangers promising her life...till death do they part.
What has she done?
There is no such thing as happily ever after.
Volatile years pass...up and down...like a roller coaster...events throw the girl and the boy together and make them strong. But she still finds herself praying that she will find the boy doing something wrong...reason to leave...despite all they have built up together. Those prayers and children, children with special needs, built walls and walls between them. Eventually the boy stops climbing over her wall...stops daily ripping it down. And she decides to accept that real love...the kind of love that makes your heart worth beating...is exactly what she has always feared: non-existent.
And then something happens...and she and the boy are forced to decide if what they have is worth sticking around for. They both examine what their marriage has become for the first time in years.
He begins ripping down her wall, stone by stone, with his bare hands. He isn't giving up without a fight...and she has finally decided to admit something to herself that she has tried to deny for all their years together: she loves him more than she ever thought possible...but even more...he loves her more than she ever thought herself worthy.
The girl decides to surrender her fears...she decides to trust this boy...now man...she trusts her man. And the man is a good man. And happily ever after is what they have been living all along...she has just been too blinded by her own fears to see.
As I looked up at the star that shot across the sky, I hesitated...for a moment I wanted to make a wish...but I had no wish. My wishing had been replaced with living...trusting...hoping...believing...loving.
And of course the ever present prayer that God would continually wrap His infinitely wise Arms of Protection around each and every child...happy or sad...but especially reveal Himself to the ones who find themselves unworthy.
May they come to understand that we are all unworthy...and that's what makes unconditional love become happily ever after.
