Journal entry

I picked up one of my four half-filled journals i have started and never kept up over the years...i flipped to this:

It's springtime-spring stirs up so many feelings. i guess it wakes up the inner parts of my heart.

Letting go...not something that can be taught or learned...simply a process that occurs
over time...letting go of past hurts, fears, loved ones, bitterness and resentment, cherished
moments lost to time...

Holding on...an instinct we're born with...an emotion so strong the words actually reach up
...grip your heart...cling...my children cling to me as i cling to them...as we all cling to God...

Why is letting go so hard and hanging on so easy?

Can i teach my children to cling to what is pure and let go of what is evil? to protect them from
themselves????

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i am sure i know what prompted this entry...it's funny...because just today as i started my run...i had to re-direct my mind...to this day...i have to be careful what music i listen to as certain songs will instantly transport my mind back to the past...i was a very different person...with very different dreams...sometimes...on a rare occasion...that person tries to hijack my thoughts...i hate those moments...i feel guilty for those moments...i love my life...wouldn't change anything...YET...i pray my children learn to make good choices...funny...today the mermaid was playing with her babies, and i heard her say: we need to make good choices...was that a good choice?

how i pray those words never leave my children's thoughts...regret...it's an ugly, ugly feeling...