sigh...i've been away for a while...feels like i haven't blogged for ages...i guess summer is busy for everyone...most of my time has been spent watching kids for many people...
which leads me to my dilemma...to home school or not to home school...i am pretty sure i have been asking myself this question since the jay-man was in utero...i am totally aware of the benefits of homeschooling...my favorites include...more time with kids, Biblical based curriculum, creative arts focus, one on one attention and individualized education...and honestly...a love for learning...
drawbacks...umm..more time with the kids...i know...i know...that's double dipping...already mentioned as a positive...well...welcome to my insanely fickle personality...this may sound horrible...and i promise...i do not have a favorite child...but i think homeschooling the merminator would...umm...possibly end in the death or imprisonment of someone...i love her...adore her...see amazing coffee conversations about existentialism in the future...but until this whole howling issue gets under control...i think i may lose my mind...oh..sorry...homeschooling...another drawback is that my son LOVES to be around other children...like...24-7 social boy...he likes older kiddos...stares out the window watching for our neighbor across the street: i see cars momma...he's home...cordell is home...mom...i see cars...he's home...etc...repeat 100 times and you have maybe glimpsed into a late afternoon moment at the bush household...my reply: jaden...for goodness sake...they haven't even gotten out the door yet...quit stalking cordell...
it's so 50-50...i am worried if i don't hold him back this year...he will tred water...i am worried if i do...he will be so bored academically that it will lead to a dislike of learning...or lack thereof...sigh...
i am pretty sure i am supposed to homeschool...oh...how tempting to drop my kids off...and then pick them back up 7 hours later...oh...how i want to finish my degree and not wait tables anymore...oh...how i long for alone time...without the panicky...wonder-what-the-kids-are-doing feeling...oh...oh...oh...me...me...me...it's hard reaching that middle ground...balance...i quit dreaming for me for several years...that's not the kind of mom or wife or christian i want to be...but...i also have the ability to dream so big...i lose site of the here-and-now...forget to enjoy where i am...
(God...give me the energy to enjoy every moment of my life...every moment...if i have to wait tables for 10 more years in order to maximize my time with my family...sigh...so be it...i pray that i would never let pride get in the way of what You are calling me to do...thank You for giving me such an incredible opportunity...to even have the option of this decision...)
OH...and today at preschool (i was subbing) jay-bob started singing his VBS song about Jesus...mermaid joined in...the other kids started asking why they were singing about Jesus...i didn't hear the reply...but i am pretty sure i was honored enough to witness my kiddos first witnessing opportunity!! and to think...i almost didn't do VBS b/c i didn't think the jay-man could handle it...sigh...so much to pray about!!
My Quivers
2 comments:
Oh yes...it's a dilemma! I can see your points on both sides. Only you can make that decision...with God's help.
Loved the preschool witnessing! :)
I am homeschooling next year. I would say that if you are considering sending your kids to school to research the schools..go in..ask TONS of questions...visit the teachers...see what the classrooms are like. Ask about their special Education program, tell them about your sons needs.
Elementary school has been a nightmare for my kids. My middle son has SPD and had they listened to me starting off much of what happened could have been avoided. Then add the PTSD my older son managed to get being stuck in a class with a bunch of bullies then ignored when he said anything about it...ugh..it was horrible. So until we can move to a different school district they're home with me, and Im really trying to be excited about it..but like you..i like my time alone..and i HAD time alone.when the school wasnt calling me asking me to come get my "out of control" child.
Its a personal decision..just make sure you throughly research the school and make sure its a place you're ok with your son and daughter going to...I wish I had done my homework better. ((HUGS))lol and i realize this post sounds a little..um..horrific..sorry..I didnt intend for it to be, there are many many many good schools out there, I just live in a town that has a school on the opposite end of that spectrum :-P
Post a Comment