this morning i made chocolate chip scones via bob's red mill's sorghum flour package. the recipe called for currants, but i subbed choc chips. they were pretty good. i am excited to tweak it with some more fillers.
j-bob and mermaid both turned their noses up at first...stinkers...but i got creative...did some silly voice and gave the food personality...yep...we played with our food...but when it was all said and done...mermaid had almost cleared her entire plate, and j-bob had eaten over half his scone, one blueberry (only gagged once), and two bites of watermelon!!
that ladies and gentlemen, is a miracle (and yes...God can send you hard work in the form of biomedical and special diets...as His miracle). had you told me one year ago...much less a year and a half ago when i had to answer what j-bob ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and the answer to all three meals was: pancakes with zucchini and chicken puree...(yuck)...that my baby boy would be eating scones, blueberries, watermelon, carrot sticks, etc...i would have burst into tears at the very idea.
i still marvel at how far we have come as a family...balance...it is such a nice feeling...talk about a miracle!
My Quivers
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Foster parenting
Isn't it a bit selfish to have a family with so much love and not to share it?
Sigh...I cannot sleep. I have so many things blazing trails through my mind; I even picked up my knitting needles again, 1/4 of a scarf and 5 mg of melatonin later, and here I am at 12:30 am typing away.
Maybe my mind will slow down if i get some words out?
Sigh...so I have warned OA since we were newly weds that I would someday be a foster parent. I think he thought I was joking. I am going to attend a class...sadly it's not until July. Doesn't God know that I like to get things done once my mind is made up (haha...no really)? We most likely won't foster parent anytime soon, but I would love to be a respite care person or an emergency call family...if God and OA are willing...sigh.
Do I put too much on my plate? It's the first week of finding a life of balance, and here I am begging to home school full time and become a foster parent...OR...is my heart finally sitting still before our Lord...and hearing His Love...I want to whisper that Love everywhere I go.
I am hoping to figure out a way to record the kiddos' prayers. They are PRECIOUS. I think they are really getting it...better than most of us adults. J-bob asks God to hold his hand and ends every prayer with: and I love mommy, daddy, merwci, and God, and Jesus, and evewrybody in the whole entiwre wuwrld.
He is very non-discriminatory with his love. I must remember to blog about our conversation of loving everyone...even bad guys...sigh...hold tight these moments...they are so precious!
Sigh...I cannot sleep. I have so many things blazing trails through my mind; I even picked up my knitting needles again, 1/4 of a scarf and 5 mg of melatonin later, and here I am at 12:30 am typing away.
Maybe my mind will slow down if i get some words out?
Sigh...so I have warned OA since we were newly weds that I would someday be a foster parent. I think he thought I was joking. I am going to attend a class...sadly it's not until July. Doesn't God know that I like to get things done once my mind is made up (haha...no really)? We most likely won't foster parent anytime soon, but I would love to be a respite care person or an emergency call family...if God and OA are willing...sigh.
Do I put too much on my plate? It's the first week of finding a life of balance, and here I am begging to home school full time and become a foster parent...OR...is my heart finally sitting still before our Lord...and hearing His Love...I want to whisper that Love everywhere I go.
I am hoping to figure out a way to record the kiddos' prayers. They are PRECIOUS. I think they are really getting it...better than most of us adults. J-bob asks God to hold his hand and ends every prayer with: and I love mommy, daddy, merwci, and God, and Jesus, and evewrybody in the whole entiwre wuwrld.
He is very non-discriminatory with his love. I must remember to blog about our conversation of loving everyone...even bad guys...sigh...hold tight these moments...they are so precious!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
day 8...magical day
oh where do i begin?? the other night i decided: enough...
so i picked up a women of faith study guide that has been collecting dust for 3 years now...living a life of balance...something i crave...tired of simply craving and ready to put into action...didn't you guys know...june is the new january as far as resolutions...at least in this house.
food:
- the best smoothie: half hemp/half vanilla rice/frozen banana/few frozen peach slices/splash of agave nectar/dab of cinnamon. it was DELICIOUS...even the OA ate some!!
- leftover chicken enchilladas...again...GFgoddess never fails me! some fruit and carrot sticks.
- dinner consisted of grilled chicken, corn on the cob, and homemade french fries (sweet and regular)
- onto another smoothie for my snack...i am sure there are SEVERAL handfuls of stripey chips shoved here and there...but you know...a girls gotta live...and those chips...well...they are this home's comfort food!
- i ran a run tonight that kicked my bum so hard...i had to muster all the fight within myself and kick it's bum right back...it ended in a draw...sadly...it took me 49 mins to run/walk 4 miles but i realized as i had visions of how i could safely maneuver my body into a position that would allow me to drink my own bum sweat...(i was THAT thirsty!!)...that i had seriously not hydrated myself and then proceeded to run a hilly route in some serious heat...ahh...it was terribly wonderful!
- as mentioned...i have started a study guide...i hope it is as good as i know it will be...already putting my heart in the right place...in His Word.
- we started our first "home school" day today...it began with a family devotional...the best part was listening to the kiddos and seeing how that one family devotional can play itself out throughout the day...constantly turning our minds/hearts to God in little ways...i loved it...
- as earlier stated we started our first home school day today. it went so well. mermaid actually read a book to me...i have a feeling she will be reading by the end of this summer. j-bob's reading seems to have lost some "umph" since the last 3 weeks of school were pretty much a joke...no fault of the teacher...just a million things squeezed into the last month of school...anyhow...i am focusing on that...the kiddos did more than i expected...and the best part is that it was all pretty laid back/satisfying!
- we ended the evening with reading poems from my favorite children's author: shel silverstein. oh the memories...and they wouldn't let me stop...dear God...please give my children a love for words...and stories...and books...and dare i ask...poetry...sigh
Monday, June 8, 2009
day 5, 6, 7...oh who really cares!!??
so sick granola = derailed granola...
well...i can say the run with my sole sistah AND my british love...was divine! i begged for them to walk in the beginning and then i guess the tylenol kicked in, and i ended up sprinting...boom boom pow by black eyed peas always gets me going!!
i'm not in the mood for fat reduction talk...tonight i simply want to ask for prayer. prayer that i will not let the best of mermaid's behavior get to me...that i will not yell at her when at my wit's end...that i can calmly, kindly, lovingly, yet FIRMLY discipline her when needed. i don't beat my children...but occasionally...i think my words might as well...and i always apologize...but...i am tired of my behavior. don't get me wrong...i am far from abusive...but...i am not acting like the Godly mother that i should. i owe Him more than that...and my children...esp my daughter.
6 months ago i had thoughts so terrible no mother would admit to...so God has delivered us from more than anyone will ever know...whatever was going on with merminator...it made autism look simple...piece of cake...gfcfsf of course...it's a hard road...when you don't relate/enjoy your child...a very hard road. sigh...more moms need to admit to those moments...and then fight like hell to make them go away.
i cannot believe for one minute that i allow bitterness towards our special diet...i cannot believe for one minute that strangers would question when they have no idea about...i cannot believe for one minute that more and more parents with children who are struggling with extreme anger and behavior problems aren't being told: look at their diet!!!!
sigh...day 7 of fat reduction...i want more than reduced fat molecules...i want bigger spiritual muscles...much bigger relationship with Him...and a huge zapper...so that every time i put something that has gluten, casein, or soy near my mouth...it would electrocute me...as i do believe my not watching what i eat severely affects my not watching what i say or how i say it...deepest sigh...how thankful am i to serve a Merciful and Gracious yet Sovereign God!
well...i can say the run with my sole sistah AND my british love...was divine! i begged for them to walk in the beginning and then i guess the tylenol kicked in, and i ended up sprinting...boom boom pow by black eyed peas always gets me going!!
i'm not in the mood for fat reduction talk...tonight i simply want to ask for prayer. prayer that i will not let the best of mermaid's behavior get to me...that i will not yell at her when at my wit's end...that i can calmly, kindly, lovingly, yet FIRMLY discipline her when needed. i don't beat my children...but occasionally...i think my words might as well...and i always apologize...but...i am tired of my behavior. don't get me wrong...i am far from abusive...but...i am not acting like the Godly mother that i should. i owe Him more than that...and my children...esp my daughter.
6 months ago i had thoughts so terrible no mother would admit to...so God has delivered us from more than anyone will ever know...whatever was going on with merminator...it made autism look simple...piece of cake...gfcfsf of course...it's a hard road...when you don't relate/enjoy your child...a very hard road. sigh...more moms need to admit to those moments...and then fight like hell to make them go away.
i cannot believe for one minute that i allow bitterness towards our special diet...i cannot believe for one minute that strangers would question when they have no idea about...i cannot believe for one minute that more and more parents with children who are struggling with extreme anger and behavior problems aren't being told: look at their diet!!!!
sigh...day 7 of fat reduction...i want more than reduced fat molecules...i want bigger spiritual muscles...much bigger relationship with Him...and a huge zapper...so that every time i put something that has gluten, casein, or soy near my mouth...it would electrocute me...as i do believe my not watching what i eat severely affects my not watching what i say or how i say it...deepest sigh...how thankful am i to serve a Merciful and Gracious yet Sovereign God!
Friday, June 5, 2009
day 4...sickly
so the eating part is easy: watermelon, handfuls of stripey chips, ummmmm...a couple of left over potatoes and a few bites of roast...lots of fluids...and now i am forcing a hemp, black cherry, emergen-C, OJ smoothie...
yeppers...i've finally caught the fever that my little ones have so lovingly shared with their mama!
so i didn't run today, but i did completely clean and reorganized the kiddos room. they requested that i move their furniture around (prob bc i do it so often-great therapy for j-bob!!). we got rid of many many toys. i am big on down-sizing. no room for "stuff". i hate it...i have gotten pretty good at only keeping the necessities. every 3 months i go through this "nesting" and get rid of more things. poor OA. last week i re-did the living room and moved our room around. it's my thing...my thing i do...have done...will always do...i think it lends itself to my moving no less than 20 times in the same city before i was 20!
so today i am eating very little, drinking much, and not doing any exercise.
i plan on homeschooling the kiddos through the summer...yes, i'm back on that again. i will remind everyone...it's a dream i have dreamed since j-bob was in utero...but i am so scared to pull j-man from the very place he has bloomed...i mean...BLOOMED. so we shall give it a go this summer...mainly bc his teacher suggested we keep up a tight schedule and not rest on his reading and hand writing. she doesn't want him to lose ground. i love her. she has rocked our lives...sigh. oh...and the other dream i have dreamed is finishing school...deeper sigh...so what's a granola mama to do when her dreams collide? i rest on my husband...but i think dear OA is ready for some financial assistance...peace...get ahead. i owe that to him...we have scraped for the last 6 years...in my defense...i worked...and i mean WORKED...until we came to AR...i brought the j-bob to work then opened my own home daycare when mermaid was 3 weeks old...that's an entirely different blog topic...let's just say...i don't remember much of mermaid's birth until last year!
tomorrow...i run with my sistah...fever or no fever!
yeppers...i've finally caught the fever that my little ones have so lovingly shared with their mama!
so i didn't run today, but i did completely clean and reorganized the kiddos room. they requested that i move their furniture around (prob bc i do it so often-great therapy for j-bob!!). we got rid of many many toys. i am big on down-sizing. no room for "stuff". i hate it...i have gotten pretty good at only keeping the necessities. every 3 months i go through this "nesting" and get rid of more things. poor OA. last week i re-did the living room and moved our room around. it's my thing...my thing i do...have done...will always do...i think it lends itself to my moving no less than 20 times in the same city before i was 20!
so today i am eating very little, drinking much, and not doing any exercise.
i plan on homeschooling the kiddos through the summer...yes, i'm back on that again. i will remind everyone...it's a dream i have dreamed since j-bob was in utero...but i am so scared to pull j-man from the very place he has bloomed...i mean...BLOOMED. so we shall give it a go this summer...mainly bc his teacher suggested we keep up a tight schedule and not rest on his reading and hand writing. she doesn't want him to lose ground. i love her. she has rocked our lives...sigh. oh...and the other dream i have dreamed is finishing school...deeper sigh...so what's a granola mama to do when her dreams collide? i rest on my husband...but i think dear OA is ready for some financial assistance...peace...get ahead. i owe that to him...we have scraped for the last 6 years...in my defense...i worked...and i mean WORKED...until we came to AR...i brought the j-bob to work then opened my own home daycare when mermaid was 3 weeks old...that's an entirely different blog topic...let's just say...i don't remember much of mermaid's birth until last year!
tomorrow...i run with my sistah...fever or no fever!
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