This moment...in words.

At this very moment:

• the drier is tumbling around its 4th load of clothes for the day
• the former 3 loads are folded and draped around our dining room table
• my children are tucked in their beds where they will sleep through the night (I am still not used to such spoiling)
• my husband is at work
• I am dreaming of flowers, plants, dirt, and my yard
• I pause to dream about the future color of my walls:  gray (my accent colors are yellow and red)...I cannot wait
• I breathe deeply and slowly, exhaling any worry that tries to overtake...something about the possibilities of our future has awakened all kinds of feelings and emotions
• I pause to breathe even deeper--- my effort to appreciate the unknown, to cherish this moment, to praise Him for all the changes and stirrings He has placed in my family's hearts, and to bow my head in unending thankfulness for all that He has done for us

I hope this moment finds you with peace, and protection, and eternal Love.

2 a.m.

This family member has NEVER had sleep issues!

I awoke with a start from a very deep sleep.  A combination of added miles on my runs, Martial Arts classes (yes, to include myself..who can say "no" to the OA, the ninja, AND the mermaid??), the kid's school, and the gorgeous sunny weather we've been blessed with these last few days has had me crawling into bed without even the slightest consideration of needing to read or knit to calm my mind in preparation for my much coveted sleep.

Sleep.  I didn't sleep through the night with consistency until we moved to our newest location about a year and a half ago.  My Ninja was 7.  I do not exaggerate.  Sleeping issues were probably our hardest fought demons of autism...at least the lack thereof was of monumental consequence to the entire family...and by that I mean "Mommy" because I set the tone for the mornings and the tone was not always...beautiful...back in those days.

Speaking of newest location, for my readers who do not know, we moved over several hills and through some woods to a lively little college town to follow the Oversized Asian's job promotion.  It has been a whirlwind, and we moved twice in one year.  Our first move was to to a rented home which was lovely but plagued with carpet and no back yard.  Ahem, two dogs, two children, and a stack of allergies...one gets the picture...(and the picture wasn't pretty and was drawn daily in the carpet...ACK!).  Our second move was into our current home which we are purchasing.  The OA and I have already ripped up the majority of the carpet that creeped in the bedrooms which has left us walking on concrete that I envision painted a gorgeous white someday.  Always a work in progress...this thing called "home".

Sleep.  Something I've learned how to function with deep, short spurts of.  It's kind of fun succumbing to the odd hours of my occasional bouts of insomnia.  Tonight, or rather, this morning I felt the intense need to pray with sincerity over my family, my home, and another family, and their home.  For the possibilities and the protection and our peace.  And for sleep.

My favorite thing to do is to peer in on my children as they sleep.  Is there a more beautiful moment to quietly thank God for His undeserved blessings?

exhaustion

sleep...i have avoided it my whole life...

it's more than an aversion...it's a fight...

is that why my whole body is crying "mutiny!"?

all i crave is sleep...actually...i still don't want to sleep...

swallowing a pill to force myself into the much needed resting place...

still i cannot get enough...i find myself dozing off while my kids are playing...unable to hold my eyes open as i am reading them a book...what's wrong with me??

i can't even bring myself to make or get a coffee...this coming from a woman who has single-handedly grabbed two half-naked children at four minutes until the coffee kiosk's closing time just to get a double shot latte...i have been trying to work up the energy since 8am...still none...sigh...

i am so tired of being tired!